It has been brought to management's attention tha some individuals have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with other employees. Due to complaints from some employees, who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

None the less, we do realise the critical importance of individuals being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with fellow employees. Therefore a list of code phrase replacements has been compiled, so proper exchange of ideas can continue in an effective manner, without risk of offending our more sensitive co-workers.

Old Phrase				Prefered New Phrase
No fucking way				I'm certain that's not feasable
You've got to be shitting me		Really?
Tell someone who gives a fuck		Perhaps you should check with ....
Ask me if I give a fuck			Of course I'm concerned
It's not my fucking problem		I wasn't involved with that project
What the fuck?				Interesting
Fuck it, it won't work			I'm not sure I can impliment this
Why the fuck didn't you tell me 
that sooner?				I'll try to schedule that
When the fuck do you expect me to do 
this?					Perhaps I can work late
Who the fuck cares?			Are you sure this is a problem?
He's got his head up his arse		He's not familiar with the problem
Eat shit				You don't say?
Eat shit and die			Excuse me?
Eat shit and die, motherfucker		Excuse me Sir?
What the fuck do they want from my 
life?					They weren't happy with it?
Kiss my arse				So you'd like my help with it?
Shove it up your arse			I love a challenge
Who the hell died and made you boss?	You want me to take care of this?
Blow me					I see
Blow yourself				Do you see?
Another fucking meeting?		Yes, we really should discuss this
I really don't give a shit		I don't think it will be a problem
He's a fucking prick			He's somewhat insensitive
she's a ball breaking bitch		She's an agressive go-getter
You don't know what the fuck you're
doing					I think you could use more training
This place is all fucked up		We're a little disorganised
What sort of fuckwit are you?		You're only new here, aren't you?
Get out of my fucking life, shithead	There ya go
You're a fucking paranoid nutcase	Oh, you're from Sydney
You're a fucking wanker			You're my manager and I respect that
You fucking brown nose			You're an exeptional worker and I
					respect that
Go and get fucked you dickhead		I no longer require your assistance
Will you fuck off, ok?!			Leave it with me, I'll look into it
How the fuck did you get this load of
shit to work?				Your design work on this project has
					been exemplary
You have't a fucking hope, you dickwit	I believe you have your abilities 
					confused with your ambitions
Shut the fuck up, you lying prick	I think some clarification is called
Fuck off will you, if I was talking
to the shithouse I'd life the lid, ok?	Excuse me, would you mind not butting
					in on the conversation
If I want shit, I'll squeeze your head	I don't requre your assistance yet
Sucked in, you fucking looser		That was terribly unfortunate
Do that again and I'll fucking drop you	I think you could exercise better
					judgement in future
What the fuck do you think you're doing	Are you acting within your delegation?
Fuck off, arsehole			I don't entirely agree with your